My Portion

Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart feel lonely?
And long for heaven and home

When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me

(from the hymn “His Eye is on the Sparrow”)

Surely I am not the only one who gets discouraged with the way life is sometimes.  What’s even more interesting to me is that, in recent months, I have been discouraged even though I am living the life I dreamed of- being a stay-at-home wife and mother.  It’s truly amazing to me that Satan can creep in and discourage even when a person is living her wildest dreams come true.  Amazing!  Amazingly frustrating!  (And how much more does he creep in when things are going badly!?)

My husband and I have been living in our current city for several years now but have yet to make any strong friendships here.  As I’ve mentioned before, my husband works a lot and is in school while I stay home with our daughter.  We only have one vehicle so unless we coordinate well; I am at home car-less.  Sometimes I think I am going to go nuts being in the house with her all day, every day.   It gets lonely.  Since we don’t have many friends here, I long for my friends “back home.”  Yet, at the same time I know they are not the answer.  I would not find satisfaction there.

A second car is not the answer.  Finding a wonderful group of friends here is not the answer.  Nothing this world can offer me is the answer.  I would not and could not find satisfaction there, wonderful as those things may be.

No, Jesus is the answer.  It is only Jesus who is able to satisfy me.  For He is my portion.  He is enough.

When I’m tempted to despair – He is my portion.  When I’m tempted to complain – He is my portion.  When I’m tempted to feel overwhelmed – He is my portion.  When I’m tempted to run – He is my portion.  His grace is sufficient.  His love is unending.  His mercy is unfailing. 

He is enough.